The Big 12’s expansion game has become a silly rendition of the Bachelor.
No not the one that is my 84-year-old mom’s favorite show, where some young lady dates a flock of young bucks who profess the charade of love over a two-week span and promise forever commitment.
No , not that one. This Bachelor show is the Big 12 conference being courted by 17 (yes, you have that number right) universities who want to fill one of the expansion slots (how many? two or four?) the conference has floated as a consideration necessary to maintain its existence in this competitive and complicated big time college football landscape.
This is ridiculous, yes. Of course it is. There aren’t probably more than two schools out of that group — which ranges from Arkansas State (Lord save us) to BYU (Lord prefers) and a lot of anemic mid-major programs — that have any business being in a Power 5 conference, which at last look included the Big 12 (thanks to Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and Texas).
But, if we have to expand the league then here goes. My two cents on who to let in:
First let’s theorize there will only be two teams added. That would at least make the Big 12 a complete conference in more than name only, bringing the roster to, yes, 12 teams. (Heretofore, math has not been the conference’s strong suit).
TV is the big factor. In order to trigger more money from the TV networks and not look like bandits trying to take advantage of the ESPNs and Foxes, the Big 12 needs to take schools that are in reasonably large markets. Adding New Mexico, which I would love because it would give me another reason to go to the Land of Enchantment in the fall, would not bring enough viewers to the living room TV set to justify their addition. Sorry.
And, although adding Houston makes a lot of sense, despite the fact it would be a re-constitution of the failed Southwest Conference of our youth, it doesn’t make sense either because there are enough Longhorns in east Texas to have the Houston (No. 10) TV market in the Big 12 fold already. No big gain there. Same with SMU (my Dallas friends are smokin’ weed thinking SMU delivers sufficient football product to warrant a passing thought for a Power 5 conference). The Big 12 owns the No. 5 TV market in north Texas.
Distance is a factor. Boise State is a consideration. But, travel there is like booking a trip to Siberia. Connecticut has a huge athletic department budget, but imagine the travel time of the volleyball team on a Wednesday night. And that assumes the airlines doesn’t have a delay (which these days is tantamount to believing in Santa Claus). Besides, the Huskies’ average game attendance is only 36, 645 (sheesh, that’s worse than Kansas).
BYU has some negative intangibles. Salt Lake City is the No. 34 TV market (similar in size to a Kansas City). Their own TV network exists and that presents the same sort of complicating factor as the Longhorn Network, which drove away Missouri and Nebraska a few years ago. Then there is their anti-gay policy. Too much baggage. They aren’t used to being a “team” player in a conference anyway.
Favorites: Air Force and Colorado State. The former would provide great fly-overs for pre-games all across the country. And if you’ve never been to a service academy football game, you have missed out on the most idyllic college feel possible. It’s classy. The latter has been a competitive program, that would thumb its nose at in-state rival Colorado, whose Buffs bolted from the conference to smoke doobies with their left coast friends. Colorado State just needs to expand its stadium (it only seats 34,400)– oh, wait it is! Most importantly, Air Force and Colorado State would grab the Denver TV market (No. 17).
Memphis would deliver the Memphis market (No. 50). It has a 61,008-seat stadium and has had good attendance. Florida State (although unlikely because of contractual obligations to the ACC and a thorough dislike for the Longhorn Network) delivers not only the Florida market but a good part of the southeast U.S. Cincinnati would bring it both Cincinnati (No. 36) and Louisville (No. 49). Oh, and yes, Louisville, which would make the Big 12 the clear favorite for the best basketball conference in the country — no small trivia there.
So, here is my list in order of preference:
- Louisville
- Cincinnati
- Colorado State
- Air Force
The scuttlebutt is the Big 12 will make some announcement by October. In the meantime, these schools are prancing around in their Sunday best and promising great moonlit walks on the beach, in the mountains, or dancing at a swanky nightclub or….whatever.
But any one of them pale in comparison to the hot guys that dumped the conference — Missouri and Nebraska.
Sigh.
— Mike
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