Ingredients for the perfect Oklahoma tailgate (as demonstrated on North University avenue during the four hours before kickoff):
1. Tent, preferably the kind that does not pinch off your fingers when you have to take it down in the darkness of night following the game.
2. Red cups. Beer, wine and soda pop all tastes better in red-colored cups.
3. Satellite TV. This gives one of your party something to do when first setting up for the season — did anyone bring an extra extension cord? Is that the southern sky, or western sky we point to? Who’s the kid who keeps throwing footballs at the generator? Subscription? What subscription?
4. A cook. The most important person in a tailgate. Preferred burger and hot dog slinger.
5. Pigs in a blanket. Who named this, anyway? Regardless, it’s not necessarily pork weiners and it’s not really a blanket. But you get the idea.
6. Bag chairs. The greatest invention since the automated coffeemaker. But don’t get the kind with a foot rest unless you want to spend the day falling backwards.
7. Music. This defines the demographics of your tailgate. Uncle Bob and Bubba play continuous casette tape recordings of Boomer Sooner. The 40-something hip crowd has a boom box playing Lyle Lovett CDs. The young adults all wear their own individual Ipods playing an assortment of P Diddy tunes set to shuffle. The kids don’t hang out at the tailgate to listen to music because the crowd is too old.
8. People who you don’t know who show up at the tailgate. This is preferred by game 5, because by then you’re tired of the same old crowd. And, you can make up stories because these people won’t know the difference.
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