Hola, my fellow fashionistas! Welcome to my weekly stroll down the Sooner Catwalk of unmitigated fashion wins. Always in shades of Crimson and Cream and NEVER in any shade of orange. This week our Model’s Horse Stomp down the runway brings us to the Cotton Bowl in Texas,
Aw, Texas, Texas…. Though I have wracked my fashion filled noodle year after year to tear you from your love of that wretched burnt orange, you have not once heeded my advice. Why must you vex me so? But this year is different. I can no longer waste a moment upon your blind fashion no-no’s.
This year I say, “No more. I am done with thee thou cow of chaotic clothing, thou losers of the lousy lingerie.” This week instead, I will talk about one of my favorite subjects: how to dress your pets as stylish sooner fans.
It matters not what breed of fur baby you possess. All may be dressed accordingly, though elephants may be hard to shop for due to the obvious problem: skin tone. And octopi may present a problem when actually dressing them (I suggest sleeveless to make things easier).
I myself have a Papi-poo (papillon/poodle mix), Princes Charles, who wears a lovely crimson and cream jersey that he dons each and every game day. We’ve yet to lose this year when he has been dressed accordingly. (Yes, your fashionista forgot to dress him thusly when the rodentia of Tennessee were in town. I will never live down the shame)
If you don’t have the monetary convenience to acquire said fan accessories online, it is possible to modify regular garments to drape on your companions of the animal kingdom. Thrift stores are a treasure trove of crimson and cream garments. With safety pins and staples, you too may have an artistic fashion creation with which to adorn your pet. Though, please do not use the pointed objects upon the beasties themselves. The blood could, in fact, stain the cloth the wrong color of red.
Fashion is a game of creative thoughts and artistic visions. Never be ashamed to bring your opossum or earthworm to a game dressed accordingly. And never in any shade of orange.
Ciao for now, darlings!
Aw, yes. Almost forgot. Texas doth vacuum.
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