Evil abounds among those pushing the horrid handbag
Hello, Fellow Sooner Fashionistas, and post-Happy Hallowe’en! A time when bad fashion can be forgiven in the name of sugary sustenance and monster-filled galas.
However, let’s not forget the impact of candy-induced Halloween Hips grown right before the time of Thanksgiving thunder thighs.
But today we must discuss the horrible requirement of many a stadium fan – the clear backpack or purse.
I realize this fashion decision lies not with the wearer but with the obviously misguided heads of security o’er said stadium. No doubt ill-dressed, mouth-breathers who wear only what is on sale at the closest Wally World Supercenter.
Shame on you, gentlemen! I say “gentlemen” because this is obviously the work of a masculine mentality that cannot fathom having to carry a purse.
Here is my advice to said “gentlemen”: true clarity is a rarity.
If you seek to find what someone is hiding while entering the gaming arena, you will need to look further than the itsy transparent purse a person is carrying.
Let’s look deeper into the hearts of men. What evil lurks there? A love of burnt orange and Texas football? Sympathy for Lincoln Riley? Or, dare I say it, a wish that one Mike Gundy would come and take our dear Coach V.’s job?! The horror!
Nothing that can be hidden in this sad little clear bag can dare compete with that frightening thought.
However, the worst complaint that can be had against this required accessory is that, like what lies between the searching eyes and the contents within, the outfit that goes with this horrid handbag does not exist.
I leave you with these terrifying thoughts on this, the season of witches.
Farewell, fashionistas!
-Melissa D.
Next week: Tall tales of tail gate attire…
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