Advice from the Sooner Fashion Gal
Good ‘morrow, my Saucy, Salty Sooner Fashionistas!
Hmm, sounds more like lunch than a football game but, then again, good fashion sense can be a meal unto itself. It can be feasted upon time and time again. So let’s make it deliciously classy, shall we! There should be no need to add condiments to said fashions if done right.
However, if you choose to paint your fashion lunch with ketchup and dijon, you may disguise the true taste and, yes, dear reader, the true yumminess of said food.
This is, in fact, much like the people that insist on wearing body paint to games do. It is obvious that they feel the need to obfuscate the real fashion they are, indeed, wearing. In other words, none whatsoever.
I’ve seen these dolts in hot weather, cold weather and extremely cold weather. Body covered in team colors, hoping to cheer their men and women to victory with no thought to how egregious their choice actually is.
Let’s not let the letters adorn our bodies
For example, let’s say those in paint decide to spell out their team’s name. There is nothing wrong with this idea on it’s face, but on it’s bottom it becomes odiferous like yesterday’s nappies.
Let’s say Joe has to go to the facilities. Unless all those involved go at the same time, “Sooners” become “So-ners” or worse yet “Soo-ers”. Sewers?! Do we really want to imply our fellas on the field are somehow related to waste processing institutions?
Or worse yet, a Clown that causes children to float, no doubt by some sort of otherworldly witchcraft? Don’t get me started on the fitness of said festooned fatties.
Gentleman. If you would not paint it in front of your mother, do not paint it in front of us.
Let’s keep our food and our bodies free of preservatives, condiments and other unhealthy coverings. Let’s instead dress as a true fan, draped in Crimson and Cream and let the players on the field devour the hamburger that is Bevo this weekend.
All this food talk has made your Sooner Fashion Gal hungry so it’s off to brunch I go. See you at the game,
Texas Sux,
— Melissa
Sooner Fashion Gal
Next week: Pointed Foam Fingers: Thumbs up or Thumbs Down.
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