Advice from the Sooner Fashion Gal
How much boot is too much to scoot?
Hello, Sooner Friends! The next fashion faux pas that seems to be an enduring presence at every football contest in the Sooner State is the dreaded cowboy boots with mini skirts. How tacky! Especially on you boys that will not shave your thighs.
Is it too much to ask that if you must copy your sorority co-fans in this endeavor, please do not ask me to ascertain if it is indeed bigfoot that has decided to dress thusly and not just a hirsute Sooner male. I’ve nothing against cross dressing if that be your cup of tea gentlemen, but lets keep it classy.
If we decide to focus on the outfit itself and not just the wearer, we must also decide how much boot is too much boot and how much skirt is too little skirt.
Can your skirt be so minimal that is exposes too much booty? Well, let’s just say that question gets answered on a weekly basis during the football season here in Norman, OK.
It is still fashionable to say no to crack, ladies and gentlemen. If your mini forces you to see your dermatologist AND your lady parts doctor about sunburn the Monday after OU/Tulsa, you may have gone too far.
So if you must dress this way, make sure your skirt is enough to cover all orifices and your boots do not cross the knee lest you be compared to a member of the Duck Dynasty Clan.
The ‘monstrous’ croot
Shall we address comfort now? Let’s. I also have noticed some of you sacrificing fashion for comfort during those hot, sunny, afternoon games early in the season. This can be allowed if your wellness is dependent upon it.
However, if you decide to go with the boot/mini look you have made the decision that fashion trumps comfort and you must live with the consequences. So, even though you may have blisters upon blisters for days, you may not, EVER, think about wearing the new look that is called the “croot”. This is a combination of cowboy boots and crocs.
What were the inventors of this monstrosity thinking? If you indeed wear these, be assured we shall throw you to the real crocs or the figurative ones at FSU.* It’s just not to be done.
I hope I have answered any questions you have about this look. I live to be the answer to all lives little queries within the football fashion world.
— Melissa
Next week: Headwear: Schooners ahoy?
*This fashionista has just been informed that it is the Florida Gators not crocs, but the threat still stands**
** This fashionista has just been informed that FSU stands for Florida State and they are the Seminoles. And one should never dress thusly at a football game unless you are that little Native American fellow on his pretty pony at said games and even then it is questionable.
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