Episode 8
Halloween Treat: A Wind in Need is Not a Friend Indeed
Last we saw Soonerguy, our intrepid hero was, was… give me a sec. I really can’t remember, hang on while I look it up… (I hate bye weeks). Oh, yeah…
Last we saw Soonerguy, our intrepid hero was facing a naked bird. Fearsome fowl, indeed!
The Crimson Crusader had finally given up on the Jaybird’s return and retreated to the Sooner Cave, deep within Sooner Country, to contemplate his next step, his wardrobe choices, life, the universe and everything. Standing at his Sooner Chemistry Set (only $99.99 at the Campus Corner Store across the street), he mixes two volatile liquids together. The red liquid quickly changes colors. First purple. Then green. Then Orange!
After detailed calculations, he intensely studies the test tube in his hand, his goggles fogging, he frowns doubtfully at the observed result.
“43!? That doesn’t seem right,” he mumbles, wiping the red slime that has formed on his right hand on his white lab coat.
Thump! Thump!
There’s a startling banging at the Sooner Cave door.
He starts instinctively jerking into The Switzerenkutsu dachi, a secret Soonerjitsu stance known only to him and his Soonerjitsu Sensei, Master of the Ancient Martial Art, Charlie North.
Soonerguy is on high alert. What nefarious character has tracked him down to his secret headquarters? His refuge and retreat? His sanctum sanctorum? His groovy bachelor pad?
“Who is it?” Soonerguy’s voice booms.
There’s a long pause. The tension is virtually unbearable!
“Ummm… trick or treat,” the tremulous voice answers.
“Trick or Treat? Trick or Treat?” Soonerguy whispers to himself, wondering what devilry this could be. But then it occurs to him, “Great, Stoops! It’s Halloween!”
How could he have forgotten the most magical time of the year? Besides Red River Weekend, Bedlam, Signing Day, Spring Training, Media Day, Billy Sims Birthday. But he has no candy, no treats! Suddenly he spies his Sam’s Family Size Jar of Cheese Doodles. At first his heart rebels as he thinks of their savory goodness. But resolutely, he realizes this is for a greater cause.
Grabbing the plastic jug of cheesy delights he rushes to the door and opens it. But he is horrified at what he sees! Before him stands Lincoln Riley wearing a USC cap and holding out a bag for goodies!
Ye gads! The terror!
“Trick or treat?” the tremulous voice says again.
Soonerguy hesitantly moves to open the jar of Cheese Doodles, but this is when he notices this trick-or-treater is floating two inches above the ground! And though Lincoln always thought he could walk on water, he never managed to produce when a championship was on the line.
Soonerguy realizes immediately who has come to his doorstep.
“Little Eddy! You’re trick or treating!”
Yes! It’s Soonerguy’s young nemesis, Little Eddy, the boy with the power of a mighty wind.
The windy kid nods and the USC cap falls from his head. The little tyke looks at our hero with two puppy dog eyes.
“What the heck,” Soonerguy thinks to himself. After all, it is Halloween.
He tosses some of his cheese balls into the bag. As soon as they settle, Little Eddy shouts at the top of his lungs! “Kaze no yo ni Iowa State!”
Soonerguy finds himself suddenly battered in a powerful flurry of wind unlike any he has ever known! His labcoat and goggles are flung from our hero as he fights just to stay upright!
Could this be the windy end to our noble friend? Could this be the shining moment of victory for Little Eddy? Could 43 really be the answer to the question of life, the universe and everything? Find out next week in:
A Wind in Need is Not a Friend Indeed or It’s an Ill Wind That Blows Nobody Any Good!
In case you missed them, previous episodes:
Episode 1: The Case of the Abandoned Cheese Mine
Episode 2: The Golden Streaker Flashes Normantown
Episode 3: Corn Maze Trouble Makes Return
Episode 4: What’s Up? Cats-up!
Episode 5: Toad Twitch and Twerk
Episode 6: Corn Dogs and Kaopectate — it’s Fair Time!
Episode 7: A Jaybird in hand is worth?
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