Episode 7
A jay bird in hand is worth?
Previously on the Adventures of Soonerguy:
“Muahahaha!”
“Eeeeeek!”
“Ow! My eye!”
Our Adventurous Avenger (not to be confused with those other guys) was completely overcome with cats, corn and contemptuous contestants of the toady type. He was covered in fur, grits and warts! He was facing a veritable rogues gallery of foes: The Wildcat, King Corn, and The Toad!
Luckily, Soonerguy is well-skilled in Sooner-jitsu, an ancient martial art known only by Soonerguy himself and the inner circle of the secret cabal of devotees within the notorious Sooner Skull and Bones. With a double tuck jump and a flying scissor kick to a whiskered face one of his foes flies backward!
“Jump back, Toad,” Soonerguy commands, as the rotten ribbiter springs forward to land at Soonerguy’s feet. But the beady-eyed baddie is no longer looking at him. He’s glaring over our hero’s shoulder. Soonerguy turns to face the new nemesis behind him.
“I have you now!”, a huge, bare-skinned birdlike creature crows. Gasps sound all around as the naked avian looms before the gathered throng in all its un-garbed glory. The Wildcat, King Corn, and The Toad silently slink off out of sheer embarrassment.
“Ewww,” our Sooner savior sneers. “Naked bird skin… why?”
“For I am the dreaded Jaybird! Ready to rid the world of you once and for all, Sooner slime!” The bare beak hovers over our hero, ready for the kill.
Soonerguy hesitates for just a moment before speaking to the featherless fiend.
“I can see you’ve been working out,” he says magnanimously, “and I appreciate your effort and self discipline and maybe you feel you’re more of a threat as such, but I think you mean Jayhawk… not Jaybird.”
After a moment of silence, the clueless capon raises one wing.
“One moment… I’ll be right back.”
How will this massive miscommunication end? Will the Jaybird/Jayhawk correct his mistake? Will Soonerguy find a way to defeat this bulked up behemoth? How long will Soonerguy wait before he realizes he can just leave?
We’ll find out this and much more next time when we discover:
The Early Bird Gets to Squirm or A Bird in Hand is Worth Two With a Bush.
In case you missed them, previous episodes:
Episode 1: The Case of the Abandoned Cheese Mine
Episode 2: The Golden Streaker Flashes Normantown
Episode 3: Corn Maze Trouble Makes Return
Episode 4: What’s Up? Cats-up!
Episode 5: Toad Twitch and Twerk
Episode 6: Corn Dogs and Kaopectate — it’s Fair Time!
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