Episode 4
What’s Up? Cats-Up!
When we last spied the Crimson Crusader he was about to be flattened by the fat flat foot of his fearsome foe, King Korn!
“He seems so big,” Soonerguy muses to himself. “But you know what they say, ‘The bigger the elbow, the harder it is to fit in your ear.’ But I guess it’s easier to lick!”
Just as he utters these confusing words, the sultry sound of a female voice answers: “Sounds like you could use some help. Care to mix metaphors with me, Sooner-boy?”
Ever on the alert, our hero uses his quick reflexes to spin around, spins too far, then stops and spins in reverse.
Who should he find cozily cuddling with a crowd of uncaring cats, but the Princess of Plunder, the Countess of Criminals, the Queen of Crime!
“Blessed Bud Wilkinson! The Wildcat!” Soonerguy announces in alarm!
“In the fur, Sooner-sweetie!” she responds, calmly stroking a longhaired calico. “I’m offering you a once in a lifetime op-purr-tunity, kitten. Join forces with me, and we can easily defeat this overgrown side dish together.”
The corny creature that is King Corn continues its thundering approach toward them, heedless of any obstacles in its way, completely unaware of it’s surroundings, like it has no idea what it’s doing.
It moves out of sight behind a large red barn. Onlookers breath a sigh of relief, but just when they think it’s gone, it comes shooting out the other side, seemingly no worse for wear.
Soonerguy turns to the Wildcat with his answer – “I would never join forces with a feline fiend like you, Wildcat! Besides, I can defeat King Korn with one arm tied behind my back!”
“Is that right?” the slinky sneak-thief snarls. “How about both hands? Get him, my lovelies!”
With staggering speed, the cats surrounding her suddenly spring up, balls of yarn in paw, tackling Soonerguy in a massive dogpile…er, catpile!
“Ow! My eye!” shouts Soonerguy!
Can Soonerguy defeat this pandemonium of pussy-cats with both hands tied behind his back?
Is our hero’s only hope to join forces with his sworn enemy? We know he won’t do that! Or will he?
King Korn is one thing, but the feline feminine wiles of this nefarious ne’er-do-well is a cat of a different color!
The incredible answer will be revealed next time on the Adventures of Soonerguy in: SO FUR SO GOOD or IT’S MEOW OR NEVER!
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