Episode 2:
The Golden Streaker Flashes Normantown
Last time on the Adventures of Soonerguy, our Crimson and Cream Crusader was chin deep in cheesy deliciousness, trapped in an abandoned Swiss & Cheddar mine. How could he possibly overcome such tangy terribleness?
Meanwhile, in the swanky district of Norman, Oklahoma, a high society debutante with curly golden locks is just exiting the haute couture clothing shop, The Bougie Boutique, when this happens:
“Eeeeeek!”
Minutes later in a less pretentious shopping center at Pennywise Plaza:
“Aaaaaaahh!”
And then again further down the street at the second-hand store Thrifty Boy Floyd:
“What the Ralph?!”
Reports start to appear all over the city of a flasher exposing himself to unsuspecting bystanders of all gender identities. The local media dubs him: the Golden Streak!
Elsewhere, recovering after extricating himself from his previous exploits, Soonerguy accepts a call from Commissioner Emmert on the Emergency Soonerphone. The Golden Streak must be stopped! His fast flashes must be finished! His egregious exhibitions must be eradicated. The Sooner the better.
“Yes, Commissioner. Of course, Commissioner. I’m right on it, Commissioner.”
As he hangs up, Soonerguy contemplates his latest mission. “How can I catch this dastardly villain, before he strikes again? If he were to flash the wrong person, someone with a weak heart like an old-age pensioner or a retired Kansas State coach, someone could get hurt… or worse… someone could be inconvenienced! Annoyed, even! Perhaps if I set a trap…”
Later, back in the swanky district of Norman, Oklahoma a high society debutante with curly golden locks is just exiting the haute couture pet shop, Puptown Girl.
Or is she?
This young lady looks suspiciously familiar, what with the crimson leotard, leather boots & gloves, and the interlocking OU emblazoned boldly on her chest.
Will Soonerguy catch the villain with this pathetic ruse? Will he put an end to the winning streak? Will he discover how difficult it is to navigate in this modern chauvinist world we live in? Will he be able to balance a relationship and a career?
Find out in the next installment of the Adventures of Soonerguy entitled:
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