A dead dog is a better mascot than a horse with hands …. (and other stuff)
Dear Soonerguys,
Why do the Sooner mascots Boomer and Sooner have hands? This has bugged me for a long time. Horses with hands are creepy. They’re horses. You could ask a kindergartner and I think they would be pretty sure horses don’t have hands. Don’t horses have hooves? Horseshoes wouldn’t fit properly on a horse with hands. And horses with hands are creepy.
I don’t think horses make very good mascots to begin with. Horses are intimidating. Horses have large teeth.
They remind me of a relative I had as a kid. She was the kind of relative that pinches your cheeks and buys you gifts from garage sales. She had penciled on eyebrows that made her look like she was always surprised to see you and a deep raspy voice because she was a chain smoker.
I don’t think this a very good message to send to our young Sooner fans out there, do you?