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Texas — the cow of chaotic clothing

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Hola, my fellow fashionistas! Welcome to my weekly stroll down the Sooner Catwalk of unmitigated fashion wins. Always in shades of Crimson and Cream and NEVER in any shade of orange. This week our Model’s Horse Stomp down the runway brings us to the Cotton Bowl in Texas,

Aw, Texas, Texas…. Though I have wracked my fashion filled noodle year after year to tear you from your love of that wretched burnt orange, you have not once heeded my advice. Why must you vex me so? But this year is different. I can no longer waste a moment upon your blind fashion no-no’s.

This year I say, “No more. I am done with thee thou cow of chaotic clothing, thou losers of the lousy lingerie.” This week instead, I will talk about one of my favorite subjects: how to dress your pets as stylish sooner fans.

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Fashionista: What the Voles (sic) are bringin’

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Howdy do, my gawgeous Sooner Fashionistas! So glad to be back with you this wonderful weekend when we are going to discuss down home, country and western, Dollywood loving Knoxville, TN, that “scruffy little city” that is home to the Tennessee Voles, the cute little mammal that oft gets confused with a mole.

They do present just the most adorable little mascot!

Your Madame Fashionista has done her research of the fashion down Knoxville way and come to this very unfortunate conclusion: bony knees and high, bleach blonde, coiffed hair are the look.

Though this latter fad is fine when Auntie Dolly tries it, she is the ONLY one that should make that attempt. The knobby knees make an appearance when torn jeans with holes right over the patella are worn. Though the fashion is crude, you shouldn’t judge. That’s my job, of course.

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Fashionista: SEC brings new reason to dress up

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Hello all you Sooner Fashion Folk! It’s your old gal pal the Sooner Fashionista to help you navigate the twist and turns that can be so Fashionatingly Frustrating: Football Season here in the great state of Oklahoma! 

Yes, your fashionista has started creating words.  One has to be on their toes to make a splash in the middle of this very important time of year.  This year we will be discussing:

How the SEC’s Us.  Each week will bring a new reason to dress properly for the season.

However, this week, we get an easy start.  We face an opponent who isn’t even in the SEC.  They are in the AAC conference.  Aac, Ack, Eek and Eww is right.  We begin with Temple, the Owls from some place up North.  Who really cares? 

They rely on sweaters and tuques up that way.  I mean, how Canadian!  Or in this case, Can’t-nadian.

It would seem, as their mascot shows, that the fashion up that way must represent feathers.  Possibly talons and beaks as ritualistic jewelry. 

Talk about passe.  That went out with Lewis and Clark, darlings.  Whenever your competition relies on feathery frippery adorned with druidic relics, possibly to call upon heathen god’s, anything in Crimson and Cream will pull you waaaay further ahead on the road to chic flavor sensation of the Oklahoma kind.

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