When we last spied the Crimson Crusader he was about to be flattened by the fat flat foot of his fearsome foe, King Korn!
“He seems so big,” Soonerguy muses to himself. “But you know what they say, ‘The bigger the elbow, the harder it is to fit in your ear.’ But I guess it’s easier to lick!”
Just as he utters these confusing words, the sultry sound of a female voice answers: “Sounds like you could use some help. Care to mix metaphors with me, Sooner-boy?”
Corn Maze Trouble Makes Return
Last time on the Adventures of Soonerguy – Soonergal… er… guy was lipstick deep in trying to locate the Golden Streak. He walks daintily through the Victoria’s Secret Bra sale in Sooner Fashion Mall when the Soonerphone rings resoundingly from his utility belt.
Hurriedly, he answers, cutting off the Pride of Oklahoma’s ringtone rendition of Boomer Sooner through his mobile device!
“Soonerguy. How can I assist you and/or fight for truth, justice and the Sooner way?”
“Soonerguy!”, the voice is unmistakably that of Farmer Vincent, the kindly, old gentleman that runs the corn maze, pumpkin patch, and agricultural tourist attraction Corn to be Wild.
“You gotta come quick,” he cries “We got a heap o’ trouble in the corn maze!”
Last time on the Adventures of Soonerguy, our Crimson and Cream Crusader was chin deep in cheesy deliciousness, trapped in an abandoned Swiss & Cheddar mine. How could he possibly overcome such tangy terribleness?
Meanwhile, in the swanky district of Norman, Oklahoma, a high society debutante with curly golden locks is just exiting the haute couture clothing shop, The Bougie Boutique, when this happens:
“Eeeeeek!”
Minutes later in a less pretentious shopping center at Pennywise Plaza:
“Aaaaaaahh!”
And then again further down the street at the second-hand store Thrifty Boy Floyd:
“What the Ralph?!”